Thursday, June 28, 2012

mother support, mothers group, kid's birthday parties, birthday party ...

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Backyard Birthday Party Balloons

My own children?s birthdays have a way of sneaking up on me.

This could be because of my poor family planning the fact that all three of my children were born at very busy times of the year for our family (before and after the December holidays and just as the school year is ending).

Usually I remember their birthdays about 6-8 weeks before the actual date and think to myself, ?Oh, that?s still ages away. I?ll have plenty of time to prepare!? Only to be jolted a little less than 3 weeks prior to, when my child begins talking about their upcoming party and I realize?

?>? That I haven?t done a darn thing to make arrangements for it yet.

It wasn?t always like this. Yet, it seems that over the years, birthdays have gotten considerably harder to plan for.

Now it often seems that all things related to birthday parties just seem Way. Too. Complicated. (And ridiculously out of control.)

The Birthday To-Do List

1. Find a Date

First things first, you must pick a date. This may sound like the easiest part but I assure you,

It. IS. Not.

There are family schedules, friends? schedules, school schedules, sport schedules, work schedules ? loads of schedules to take into consideration. Take if from me, finding a date that fits our schedule, your schedule, their schedule, EVERYONE?s schedule is close to impossible.

2. Pick a Theme

Next, one needs to secure a party ?theme? ? because every party has to have a theme, right?

Personally, this is the point when the ?creative juices? in me begin to brainstorm for the perfect birthday party theme, one that factors in my child?s current likes, dislikes, favorite colors, foods, sports, etc. Eventually, after securing complete approval from my child that this is indeed going to be THE BEST fill-in-the-blank-with-the-choice-theme-of-the-year party EVER! ?

I always seem to manage to come up with the ONE ideal, individualized theme?

Which is not what the party store has available and/or in stock that year.

3. Find a Venue

If you think the term ?venue? sounds a little too formal for a child?s birthday party you are sorely misinformed. These days every place under the stars has jumped on the birthday party bandwagon ? it?s not just Chuck E. Cheese or ?bust? ? no-sir-ee!

There are movie theater parties, and swimming parties, and iceskating parties, and water park parties, and pottery-making parties, and bounce-house parties, and music parties, and of course the tried-and-true home birthday party (my personal favorite*).

*Important Note ? You may want to review To-Do List item #4 before deciding on your venue.

4. Prepare the Guest List

Nearly 12 years ago I spent days (maybe months?) on the difficult task of determining my own wedding guest list. Paring down my own child?s birthday party guest list comes in a very close second to that.

  • Who do you invite?
  • How many do you invite?
  • Do you invite the child?s whole class so no one feels left out?
  • Do you just invite girls?
  • Do you just invite boys?
  • Do you just invite neighborhood friends?
  • What about family?
  • And don?t forget about Facebook friends because you want to post all the photos on Facebook and you don?t want anyone to feel left out.

Soon your list has quite possibly grown to numbers that seem above ?maximum capacity? for your home. To-Do list item #3 ? the party venue ? now becomes a very important issue.

In our household, it also starts to become necessary at a certain age to separate the ?family party? and ?friend party.? Which now means ?rinse and repeat? steps 1-4 for party number 2. (Are you doing the math? This now means that 3 kids = 6 parties?)

5. Send out the Invitations

* Note: This is a very important step. DO NOT FORGET like I almost have a million times.

** See To-Do List item #2: Pick a Theme ? this is where picking a ?party-store theme? comes in handy so you don?t need to hand craft your own invitations like I often end up doing.

*** Afterthought: Waiting until later on this To-Do list item has parental advantages a direct effect on party attendance.

6. Plan the Party Activities and Timeline

Words to the wise:

  • Keep your party length manageable. Too much time = too much chaos.
  • Just because your child likes art projects/sports/chocolate cake (or whatever else you choose to fill your party with), doesn?t mean every other child there will (don?t take it personally).
  • Every kid I have ever met, anywhere ? loves pi?atas and water balloon tosses (just sayin?).

Happy Birth Day?

See?
Com. Pli. Cate. ED.
Ridiculously complicated.

Birthdays are supposed to be happy.

In fact, they should be happy moments for both the child and the parent in my opinion because ? speaking as a mother ? aren?t our children?s birthdays technically our ?birth? day too? It is a celebration of the day we gave birth to them.

One too many times I have found myself unnecessarily stressing about throwing the perfect party when it seems in looking back that no matter how small or big a birthday party ? it was STILL memorable in my child?s eyes.

So, after 3 kids, multiple party successes and failures, hosting birthday parties that have been ?off-sight? and ?on-location? ? ultimately this is what I?ve learned:

  1. Never judge another mother?s party venue choice.
  2. Try not to take it personally when my own child isn?t invited to another child?s birthday party.
  3. Don?t do more then I can personally handle ? it?s not worth it.

And when it?s all over, my only advice to all parents is to give yourself a pat on the back and smile. You did it!

Leave a Comment. What are your birthday party experiences like? Do you think planning your children?s birthday parties is getting too complicated? What birthday tips, tricks, and insights can you share with other mothers?

I am a staff member of the National Association of Mothers' Centers and a longtime member of the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in Ohio. My husband and I are busy raising 3 children ages 2-9. I have a professional background as a graphic designer in the creative and education industry. Since 2005, I have been using my professional skills by actively volunteering with the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in various leadership positions.

Kate Fineske

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